You have the talent to succeed but do you have the guts to fail?

You have the talent to succeed but do you have the guts to fail?

Honestly no I didn’t have the guts to fail.

Failing for me was apocalyptic — even in primary school getting anything less than 90% was a failure to me. I was never smug about it because it wasn’t for anyone else, but me! From a young age, I competed with me- it was like there was someone else inside of me that I had to beat. This urge to always trump that someone. When she said no you can’t do that, the urge to prove her wrong would take over me. I think it was also asleep unconscious me that let her mind control her and the real me fighting with each other.

So anyway, failure for me ever was not an option- but life, that sneaky little bit*h, she had it in for me. Failure came in the form of a University. Man, she hit me down! On the floor, fetal position, naked on the ice! Big failure the one that held you back a year! Oh boy, one year of my perfectly planned out timeline is now gone! Now I will never buy that BMW at 23! What controversy! Now I will never buy that huge house by 26. Don’t worry we can all laugh together at the end. I laugh at my naivety, no actually I cringe I want to slap myself!

I am sure we all had those timeline plans, how everything will fit in neatly one after the other. Smooth like good Gin, la di da la di da…. Little rosy bubbles come crashing down in flames. The worse part was- all those things I dreamt about felt so real in my head that it never occurred to me to set those goals. Because dreaming without goals, it’s just that, dreams! Seeing those ‘goals’ in your mind timeline about your life doesn’t make them real! It doesn’t mean that it’s going to happen unless you put it into action until you bring forth those desires into life! Your mind likes to keep you in this ‘happily’ blinded state of bliss, but it was all sh*t.

I was so trapped by my own fear in my head that I never took the steps to make my goals come true. It was safer to live in a ridiculous fantasy land rather than face my fears!

That’s when life jumped out and said got you now bit*h. Trust me she flaunted her skills, she just got me harder every time. But I am a stubborn old thing, always have been and always will be. So, life and I were now contenders, each at a corner of the ring. I admit, she kicked my ass on many rounds I found myself face down on a sweaty dirty blood stain floor, with life gripping my hands behind my back then finally sits on me to finish the blow.

Oh, but little did she know that I teamed up! I started training myself, learning a few of life’s moves, learning more and more from her at every knockdown. With every tear, I learned a little more. Until eventually I started knocking back, got in a little punch here and there, knocking her down temporarily. She’s strong, but I discovered I’m damn stronger! See I had advantages, that I wasn’t using. I am still learning about it but so far, there have been more rings on my corner. More ribbons under that belt.

It wasn’t until I faced that demon I had about failing, the one thing that held me back, the fear of failure itself.

Fear of knowing maybe I’m not as good as I make myself sound in my head. That’s what I thought the failure was, a way of proving to yourself that you aren’t good enough.

But I was wrong- failure was my friend all along. If I didn’t fail, I would have never broken out of that rosy bubble. I wouldn’t have earned all those ribbons under my belt if life didn’t kick me in the ass, only to learn from her knockouts and grow.

Life will throw you with a lot of side paths, detours, and drop-offs but if you stay true to that one path you see in Infront of you, then a life lived in fear has no grip over you!

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