Gold Award

Slowly I watched dozens of people raise their purple beaded necklaces with me. Most of us were crying, not because we felt heartbroken, but because we had found hope. I was surrounded by my family who had helped me organize this event, my friends who had volunteered to help out, and my community. This 5K walk for suicide prevention had been my passion project all of junior year. I wanted to create a space that could both bring awareness to suicide and bring us together in fighting it.

This past year I’ve had the honor of getting to work on my Gold Award for Girl Scouts. The Gold Award requires that you make a lasting impact on the world.

Since my freshman year I’ve known exactly what I wanted to address with my Gold Award. On February 1st of 2018 I found out my cheer coach had died by suicide, and ever since then I have been an advocate for mental health. I did this project for her and all the people who are struggling with suicidal thoughts. I wanted to destigmatize suicide, to help provide people with resources, and to make sure that people know that no matter what they are going through, they are not alone.

Now here we all were huddled together in the rain. There were approximately 100 people including the 3 news stations who had arrived to cover the event and the organizations who had come to help educate about mental health. Everybody circled around me during the bead ceremony as I explained the process. Each person wore certain color beads to represent their experiences: blue for a supporter of suicide prevention, white losing a child by suicide, purple for losing a relative or friend by suicide, and more. As the different colors were called out, we raised our respective beads in the air. I listened to the people I cared about share their experiences. I watched people look around and realize that no matter the color, there were others holding the same beads. We may have all come from different places, but we all knew what it’s like going through a storm. Tears running down my cheeks, I raised my purple beads for my cheerleading coach. This project was for her.

We walked around the route together — students, parents, teachers, grandparents — united partially around grief and pain, but more so by love and compassion. Whether or not we knew each other, we all hugged and comforted each other. In that moment I felt our hope. We would heal together, and we would grow together. Most importantly, now we all knew that none of us were alone.

Remember that you are enough.

You are loved.

And you are not alone.

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